Written by Fariha Wakilzada
Recently one of my relatives was forced into marriage in Herat, Afghanistan. Soon after the wedding, she got depressed but no one knew what the problem was. Her depression got worse and worse every day. She would cry every day and even hit herself and her family often worried about her self-harm and possibility of suicide. They took her to Kabul for treatment but that did not help. There were no therapists or psychologists to tell them that she has depression and they had no prior information about this mental illness. They started to take her to general doctor, and the doctor gave her medication to calm her down, without proper diagnoses. When her family went to the doctor with her again, he told them there was nothing wrong with her and she just acting up because she wanted attention.
This woman is just one example of perhaps millions of Afghan women facing depression due to violence and sexism. Afghanistan is one of the only countries on earth where the rates of suicide for women is higher than men. In fact, an estimated 80%of suicide attempts are by women. Early and forced marriage is often cited as one of the most common drivers behind suicide among Afghan women. Making matters worse, the level of awareness about and health services for depression and other mental illnesses is low making it hard for women to seek help.
Depression is a serious mental illness and must be treated as such. Doctors, therapists, and professionals must be aware of this problem and help their patients and those who struggle with depression. Unfortunately Afghanistan is one of those countries where most do not know about depression. I have heard many people relate depression to weakness and lack of character, blame people with depression or even make fun of their illness. When people meet a woman who is struggling with depression, the woman usually hide it because she is afraid of judgement. If a woman is depressed people say it is because she’s a woman and women are weak or because she’s exaggerating. Men too are harassed, judged, and harmed because of their depression. It is not uncommon for boys and men to hear things like “don’t act like women,” “don’t be so sensitive,” or even “men don’t cry.”
It will take a lot of work, including national campaigns and an increase in the number of facilities and professionals working on mental illness to truly address the issue of depression in Afghanistan. However, as a community and as individuals we each can help in some small way. Here is a list of things each of us can do to help end violence against women. We can even start by fighting early and forced marriages in our families and speaking up against them when we feel safe to do so. We can also let our family members, friends or colleagues who are dealing with depression know that they are not alone and we see them and introduce them to professionals who can provide help in our area. These steps might be small, but even talking about depression and legitimizing it as an illness can save a life.