Marzia Nawrozi
At home and abroad, Afghan women have been portrayed as weak voiceless victims of violence. Throughout the history, many have committed acts of violence and abuse against us to prove us weak. International media, especially since the fall of Taliban, have focused on the stories that portray Afghan women are victims alone. This one-dimensional portrayal is often used to make the argument that without help from outside, Afghan women are not capable of doing anything. Despite the single story of Afghan women in media, anyone who has lived in Afghanistan knows that in every corner of the country there are living stories of strong women fighting for their rights. In fact, I believe the fact that we have survived the decades of war and the tremendous obstacles we face is because we are strong.
Being a woman in Afghanistan requires courage. No matter how many families, economic, security or social obstacles we face, Afghan women continue to live their lives with hope and work hard. From women who work tirelessly on agricultural fields in rural areas to urban women who take risks to go to work or school, every Afghan woman is a symbol of courage and resilience. In our patriarchal society women are rarely credit for the work they do. Usually our work is not even considered work, for example women working in agricultural field are rarely acknowledged or paid. The fact that we continue get up and work every day without gratitude or attribution is a testimony to our resilience. Every morning when we leave our homes, we don’t know if we will return, but we are not the “weak willows who tremble with winds,” and quit. The obstacles we face have made us stronger.
Illiteracy does not mean helplessness. My grandfather prevented my mother from going to school because he was against girl’s education. As a result my mother often felt lacking. I remember her telling me that she felt blind because she can’t read and write.
It was possible that because she had never had the chance to get an education, my mother would not understand its importance and prevent me from going to school. However the opposite is true. All my life, my mother has advocated for my right to be educated. It was her hard work and my father’s support that ensured my siblings and me completing our education. Throughout my children and teenager years, my mother always insisted on doing the house chores by herself so that my sisters and I could focus on our studies and pass our exams. When our family was struggling economically, my mother used to iron men’s suits and clean pistachios in exchange for measly salaries to buy us school uniforms and shoes.
My mother is not an exception. Most Afghans know mothers who have sacrificed everything they had for a better future for their daughters. Even though, the majority of women in my mother’s generation never became literate because of war and discrimination, they are the staunchest advocates for their daughters’ education.
There is no doubt that if my mother and women like her had been given the chance to learn and participate in the society, economy and government, Afghanistan would not be in this abysmal state right now. Experiences of women’s participation from Rwanda to Bosnia to Tunisia show that when women are actively engaged in society, peace is more sustainable and communities move forward. Afghan women are no different. All we need is the opportunity to participate in bringing change.
Afghan women fight poverty, discrimination, violence and ignorance. Most Afghan women have faced discrimination, violence, poverty and cultural barriers from childhood. Patriarchal views have led to the creation of tools such as “honor” to further silence and marginalize women. On a daily basis, Afghan women face misogyny and discrimination while having few support systems. In a society where patriarchy is the de facto law, if they are not killed, women who stand up for their rights are mocked, insulted and ostracized.
Even today, in the 21st century, religious cleric often call women “half-brained” and many think that real or perceived physical differences between women and men make women inferior and weak. However in today’s world power is defined by thought-leadership, innovation, knowledge and skills. Perhaps our society has figured this out and is now using stereotypical views of femininity to prevent us from gaining skills and going to school, but Afghan women are actively debunking these backwards views.
How fascinating and convenient it is that for centuries this society has created disproportionate obstacles and used violence to prevent women’s progress and still blames women for being “weak” and “not being able to make it.”
If a large number of Afghan women are unable to study, work and reach their full potential, it is not because they are weak. It is because our society has placed in their ways the largest roadblocks.
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A shorter version of this blog was published on Ms. Blog.
To read this piece in Persian, click here.