Farima Nawabi
Here in Afghanistan, if you are a man, you are superior to all others. But if you’re a woman, you are considered second class.
If a woman succeeds in something, these are the encouraging sentences she will receive: What a manly thing you did! You are so manly!
Now, if a man does something wrong or inappropriate, here are the adjectives used to describe him: girly, womanly, and submissive-to-women.
In our public discourse, woman and femininity mean humiliation.
If a man offers an opinion, it is his right. It is allowed. After all, he is a man. But when a woman does it, she is a “bitch.” If she defends her rights, she is “angry.” If she raises her voice, she is “ill-mannered.”
When a woman prohibits her husband from having relationships with other women, she is jealous. But when men prohibit their wives from even talking to someone else, it is a sign of honor. Bravo to him!
If a man is clever and quick at his job, he is called “competent” and “talented.” If a woman has these attributes, she is “shameless” and “indecent.” A woman can’t walk fast with her head up. She has to always put her head down and keep her eyes to the ground.
If a man smokes cigarettes and drinks alcohol, he is a man so it’s okay. He is being young and hip. But if a woman does it, she is “trashy.” Men area allowed to spend time with many women, but women are killed for falling in love.
If a woman is social and outgoing, she is “promiscuous” and an “attention whore who can’t find a husband.” If a man has a girlfriend, it’s an accomplishment. The more the number of girlfriends, the more pride he will have.
If a man marries a woman twenty years younger than him, it is acceptable. Good for him. But if a woman marries a man who is a year younger than hers, she is “deceitful”, “old”, and “ridiculous.” Everyone points at her and says: Her poor husband is younger than her.
If a man marries at the age of sixty, there is no shame. But a woman over the age of thirty is considered “unwanted stay-at-home spinster.”
If a man remains single throughout his life, his marital status is not pointed out as the reason for every mistake. But when a woman is single, she is dogmatic and sick and her marital status is pointed out with every mistake she makes.
But men…they can do no wrong.
Why do we forget that we came from the womb of a woman, we are nurtured in her arms and grow into a productive being in her shadows? Why when we become older, get educated, develop a personality, we say that a woman’s intellect is flawed without thinking for a second about how a “weak,” “naturally flawed,” and “half-brained” human was able to give birth to a full-brained, intellectually superior, and fully functioning being? Are our mothers defective, our sister incomplete and our wives incapable? How can men remain perfect while surrounded by all these “half-brained” contributors to their lives?
Read this article in Persian here.
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This piece was translated to English by Maryam Laly. A volunteer for Free Women Writers, Maryam is passionate about human rights issues. She has a degree in Government with minors in Peace Studies and Arabic from St. Lawrence University.
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