Masooma H.
Many girls in our community feel alone and depressed when they reach puberty. Suddenly girls who enjoyed socializing and being active in their schools and families grow quiet and isolated. Instead of it being an era of growth and self-discovery, many girls experience shock, trauma, and shame because they are not aware of and prepared for the physical and emotional changes they experience as they reach puberty. Girls need a friend they can openly communicate as they change.
It would seem that the best way for girls to get information about puberty and the changes happening inside them is in conversations with a parent, however our societal stigma against periods prevents even mothers from speaking to their daughters about these issues. Because since childhood we tell girls not to talk about their bodies, they are conditioned to feel shame and fear towards it. After they reach puberty and experience their menstrual cycle for the first time, girls, who are taught to be ashamed of their bodies, don’t tell their mothers.
Most Afghan families are large. This could bring us closer, but it also causes us to not pay enough attention to each other sometimes. As a result, despite having many siblings, we can feel alone and isolated. This feeling of loneliness can be exasperated among children and teenagers as often families don’t see them as being able to contribute meaningfully and their words are dismissed as naïve or childish. Young girls, who also face extreme pressures to conform outside the house and more restrictions on their behavior and clothing after puberty, can feel more isolated because of both their young age and the fact that they are girls. However despite these obstacles, there are ways to help girls come out of isolation and feel accepted, trusted and loved.
Given the fact that speaking about periods is still a huge taboo in our society, it is not widely discussed in schools, TV shows, or other means of public awareness and education. A good first step for families seeking to help their girls learn is using books. To make the process of starting a conversation easier, parents can bring books about women’s health and menstruation cycles to their daughters even before they enter puberty. The books can lead to questions and discussions that can educate the family. These discussions can also give mothers the chance to disclose their own experiences and feel closer to their daughters.
If young girls feel that they are accepted by and can trust their parents they are more likely to speak to them about what happens outside the home as well and seek guidance. They will be able to see their parents as supporters they can confide in. Instead of fearing their parents, they will respect them. With awareness and support from their parents, girls can learn to accept their growing and changing bodies without fear and stigma.
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Read this piece in Persian here.