Shabana Stanekzai
Every single woman I know has experienced some form of discrimination, harassment or violence whether at home or on the streets. Street harassment is part of the everyday reality of most Afghan women. Often instead of offering support to these women, our society blames them for their own oppression. Abusers perpetuate this belief that the way a woman dresses or behaves in public is the root cause of harassment. They say that women’s behavior causes men to lose control and engage in harassment or violent. This could not be further from the truth.
Last year during the holy month of Ramandan, I left home one day to get some medicine for my ill father. I was wearing a long black dress with a large headscarf and no makeup. This didn’t prevent harassment. I hadn’t made it a hundred meters from my house when a middle-aged man started to follow me. The man was walking too close and making me uncomfortable, so I started to walk faster but so did he. He was whispering crude and disrespectful words at me. I could feel that I was turning red because I was so mad and angry. Usually I try to ignore harassment because it is a lot of energy to engage with or talk back to every man who decides to ruin your day, but this time I was so mad that I decided to teach him a lesson.
As I was walking, I saw a police station. I walked faster towards it. The man was still following me and talking at me. He had no idea where we were headed. The officer looked at me and quickly realized what was happening. He ran and arrested the man. The man was surprised and began to yell obscenities. Some passersby surrounded us quickly and when they find out what was going on, they began to blame me.
“Why you are getting out of your houses if you do not want men to follow you?! You want our attention. If you were a good woman, then no one would follow you,” some of the men who had gathered told me.
Despite the comments of other men who excused the harassers’ behavior, the police detained him. I was proud of what I did. I returned home after getting the medicine and I still felt happy.
This is not the time to remain in silence. We should break barriers, speak out for our rights, and protest against those who try to marginalize women and violate our rights. If I speak out today, then my daughter will be less likely to suffer from abuse and violence twenty years from now. If I remain silent, street harassment and other forms of gender-based discrimination will be passed on from this generation of men to the next.
As a woman, I will no longer accept silence. I do not want misogynists to use my silence against me or interpret it as consent. There are people who called me shameless for standing up for myself but the truth is that speaking out for what is my right is not “shamelessness.” Shameless are those promiscuous men who spend their time harassing women and excusing this behavior.
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This piece was translated by Zahra W. A volunteer for Free Women Writers, Zahra is a sophomore in high school who loves writing and poetry. Zahra cares deeply about girls’ education and empowerment. In her spare time, she helps her younger sisters, Sahar and Sana, with their studies.
Read this piece in Persian here.