Recently, I ran into an old friend that I hadn’t seen in a long time. We talked about college days, dorm life and our interest in the art of calligraphy. In the middle of our conversation she asked me why I “always” talk about women’s rights and the status of women.
I simply said, “because of the situations we as women live in.”
“Come on… the situation is not that bad. You are exaggerating,” she said immediately.
Her answer shocked me to the point that my blood was boiling in anger. Months have passed since this encounter with her. She probably does not even remember what she asked me and what she said to me, however I sometimes do think of her response to me: “the situation is not that bad.”
She’s right, if we ignore the realities of our life as women in Afghanistan, the situation is not bad. However it is hard and immoral to ignore the realities of the lives of women when on a weekly basis we are bombarded with news coverage of horrible atrocities against women.
Rape of 15-year-old girls, women dying due to lack of access to medical facilities, millions of girls not going to schools, sexualized violence at home and outside, cuttings of women’s ears and noses, street harassment… the list goes on. However if instead of paying attention to the pain of women around us, we feel content with our own lives as women who have had the chance to go to university, then, yes, women are doing just fine in Afghanistan.
The majority of our population live in rural areas. With increased war and insecurity, most of these areas are no longer safe. Villages continue to lack schools and health clinics. Women suffer the most in these areas. It is a sign of lack of empathy if we celebrate being able to go to university in three or four major cities while ignoring the reality that women are still considered second class citizens and deprived of their most basic rights around the country.
Afghan women who have faced violence and continue to face some of the highest rates of violence in the world are not exaggerating. Just because one has not been a victim of violence themselves, it doesn’t mean that’s the reality for all women, or even a small minority of women in our country. If you’re comfortable and your brothers respect your rights, please do not think that’s the case for all women in the country. Most important of all, if you are happy with the current situation, you are lucky that you are free of pain. Do not blame or repress those who peacefully protest. Perhaps, they still have some hope for humanity.
This piece was translated by Free Women Writers member, Wadia Samadi.