Written by Huda Raha, Translated by Marzia Nawrozi
Since childhood, as Afghan women, we are taught to tolerate social inequalities created by gendered structures in silence. I believe we have the ability to challenge them.
Putting boundaries on the choices of girls versus boys, as reinforced by gendered language, contribute to creating a restrictive definition of women’s position in our highly patriarchal society. The use of restrictive and misogynistic language is insidious and constant. We’ve all heard them. “it is a sin for a girl to laugh in the public”, “a girl must know how to cook”, “no matter how much you accomplish and how important of a person you become, you need to change your baby’s diapers”, “don’t speak up because men shouldn’t hear your voice”, “what if your brother sees your actions?”, “you are just a girl,” and many other phrases fall out of the mouths of our parents, teachers, and friends like air, without thought.
Even toys are bound to stereotypical gender roles, encouraging girls to be housewives and nurse children and boys to fight or drive trucks. The division of toys and activities for boys and girls from a very young age re-enforces the specific roles for women and men, helping cultivate the girl child into the form desired by a male-dominated society.
The gendered roles and stereotypes are not overt. Rather our society suppresses every desire and tendency that contradicts its harmful definitions of femininity and punishes those who rebel. With this method, girls take on their roles, without taking into account the gender-based discrimination and oppression they face, and form their personalities, dreams, and lives based on these stereotypes. It is no surprise then that many women around us simply accept injustices that have remained unchallenged for generations.
Now is the time. By making ourselves more aware, we can each start making small and remarkable changes in how we live our lives. Each of us can raise our consciousness and stop the cycle that sustains the production and training of women who submit to their own oppression and instead raise and support rebellious women who will fight for equality and progress. With the cooperation and participation of good men, we can strive to eliminate gendered stereotypes and create a society where social justice rules over patriarchy.