Hajar Amini
I have heard this argument many times that if women didn’t go out “without reason” they wouldn’t be harassed. There is a whole conversation to be had about who gets to decide what a good reason for women exiting their homes is, but it is curious that we don’t have the same prerequisite for men. In addition, what is wrong with women going out to just get a breath of fresh air? Like men, we shouldn’t need a reason to be in our own cities. Regardless, my experiences living in Afghanistan has shown me that even when women are not out in public, they are not safe from harassment. All it takes for us to be harassed for months and even years is one phone call from a number we don’t know.
Every Afghan woman I know has experienced harassment through the phone. Sometimes harassers dial a number by mistake but upon realizing that the phone belongs to a woman, they continue calling so often that the owner of the phone cannot hold any other call without interruption. Several times, when I haven’t picked up the harasser’s phone call, they have sent me messages filled with insults. This kind of harassment is not innocent. In fact, at one point when I ignored a harasser, he messaged death threats to me. Not only was I harassed, but also threatened with violence.
After insistent harassment, many women have to change their phone numbers and recruit male family members to speak with the harassers- that is if the family member doesn’t blame the women for the harassment they are facing. Sometimes when a harasser knows that the woman will not answer his calls or if he has tired of harassing her, he shares her phone number with dozens of her friends, tells them that the woman is promiscuous and encourages them to harass her. As a result, woman loses one harasser, but gains dozens.
If we think for a moment what we use phones for in Afghanistan, we know that there is no logic or justification for this kind of behavior on the part of some men. Other than for work purposes, we use our phones every day to let our family know that we are still alive and a suicide attack has not killed us. We use our phones to keep in touch with friends and family and protect and support each other. Is there any excuse for using phones to harass women? Can’t the men who do this use their money to support a family living in poverty instead?
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Are you fed up with the harassment of women and girls in Afghanistan? Join our campaign during International Anti-Street Harassment Week. Learn more here.
Read this blog in Persian here.