Sitting by the window, I think about the past. I reflect on my grandmother my mother’s youth. My grandmother was forced to stay at home and not pursue any of her dreams because of “honor” and “tradition”. My mother had to give up her education and get married because she was considered someone’s honor. A young single woman sitting at home will cause trouble, she was told.
I would like to say that things got better, but today I’m marginalized on the pretext that the “society is morally corrupt”. My father says that the community is corrupt, so I have to pay for it by staying at home. Why does my father care about the judgments of a corrupted society more than his own daughter and her goals?
Because of street harassment, my brother says: “It’s hard to walk to the university and back. Drop out. It’s useless; why do you still continue?” Why is my brother afraid of my harasser, but not afraid of her sister being illiterate? Why does he stand in front of his sister instead of standing up to the harasser?
After I took the entrance exam for university, I was accepted to my favorite department but would have to move to another province to pursue my education. My mother said, “Why do you want to displace yourself for no reason? Stay here and learn about house chores. It will help you in the future.” Why was my mother worried about her daughter not knowing house chores, but not about her financial and social independence?
All these excuses promote one harmful idea: a woman’s only job is to be a good housekeeper. Afghan women and girls are challenging this idea every day. I have seen girls who have studied with few facilities and no support from others. Despite all the problems and barriers, they pushed themselves to find jobs and become independent. Imagine what we would be able to accomplish if our families supported us instead of restricting us with excuses. We could achieve anything. A woman can make robots; she can become an engineer, a painter… She can be the best in her field of work if she is given the opportunity to learn. Even two generations after my grandmother, it’s still not easy for an Afghan woman to pursue her dreams.
This article was translated by Marzia Nawrozi, a Free Women Writers member and fearless advocate for gender equality.